The drinking crisis


The economic crisis explained the way only Irishmen could, thanks Jonathan for the tip: 
One version of the explanation of the financial crisis….how it


Linda is the proprietor of a bar in Cork. In order to increase sales, she

decides to allow her loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed

alcoholics – to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks

consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into

Linda’s bar. Taking advantage of her customers’ freedom from immediate

payment constraints, Linda increases her prices for wine and beer, the

most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank

recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases

Linda’s borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has

the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these

customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities

are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these

abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as

their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager

(subsequently of course fired due to his negativity) of the bank decides

that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by

the drinkers at Linda’s bar. However they cannot pay back the debts. Linda

can not fulfil her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and

ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in

price after dropping by 80 %.

The suppliers of Linda’s bar, having granted her generous payment due dates

and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her

wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a

competitor. The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic

round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political

parties (and vested interests).

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the


Finally an explanation I understand…

In terms of the story, the only people who gained are the drinkers……cheers …… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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